Love in Action: Everyday Steps to a Stronger Marriage

The day Will and I got married (see a little of our story on my ‘About Me’ page), the priest told us something that has always stuck with me. He said, “The fairytale Cinderella story doesn’t end here; you must continue to nourish and work daily to maintain a stronger marriage.” And I’ve only found those words to be more true with each passing year.

Prioritizing Each Other… Even in Chaos

Fostering a lasting bond requires ongoing effort, attention, and intention. Life is busy, sometimes stressful, and it’s easy to get so caught up in it that you let the little things you’ve done to grow your connection slip to the back burner. But prioritizing your spouse when juggling everything else life throws at you is imperative. Remember…there is a reason why you fell in love in the first place.  Don’t lose that spark because of kids’ activities, household responsibilities, or career pressure. Keep dating and remind yourself why you fell in love!

Get Creative to Continue Dating Your Spouse

Will and I prioritize having date nights, date days, and even weekend getaways with one another any time that we can. This is important to us as it gives us the time and space to truly focus on each other and reconnect as partners. Some fun off-beat date ideas are:

1. DIY Paint Night: Set up your own paint night at home with canvases, paints, and your favorite beverages for a creative and fun date.
   
2. Arcade Date: Hit up an arcade for a little friendly competition and nostalgia.
   
3. Comedy Club Night: Enjoy a night of laughter at a comedy club, sharing jokes and having a great time together.
   
4. Try a New Sport: Take a lesson in a sport neither of you have tried before, like rock climbing, archery, or paddleboarding.
   
5. Visit a Farmers Market: Explore local farmers markets, try samples, and pick out fresh ingredients to cook a meal together at home.

No Babysitter? No Problem. Dating at Home!

Don’t let that stop you! Plan a fun, change of pace date night at home after the kids go to bed! Change up your regular routine, move the furniture and spend a little quite time together with no phones and a glass of wine. Need some different ideas? How about trying:

1. Outdoor Movie Night: Set up a projector and screen in your backyard or a local park for a unique outdoor movie experience.
   
2. Couple Cook-Off: Select a mystery ingredient for each other to incorporate into a dish for a meal you are making to share together. Once done, enjoy a tasting and declare the winner!
   
3. Indoor Camping: Transform your living room into a cozy indoor campsite. Set up a tent or build a fort with blankets and pillows. Roast marshmallows over candles, share stories, and enjoy the indoor camping experience.
   
4. Movie Marathon: Choose a theme or franchise you both love and have a movie marathon. Create a cozy movie-watching area with blankets and pillows. Don’t forget the popcorn and your favorite movie snacks!
   
5. Connect Under the Stars: Grab a blanket, snacks, and spend a cozy evening chatting with a cold drink (and maybe a cozy fire?)

Creating a Stronger Marriage from Different Worlds

Marriage can have some unique challenges, because each person is bringing different past expereinces, journeys, and upbringings to the table. Each of you were raised in a different households with different traditions and expectations that can sometimes influence how you give or accept love (learn more about this in my blog about identifying your spouses love language), and how you are able to connect. It’s important to communicate about these differences, but also recognize together that you are beginning your own story, traditions, and priorities.

Focus on Communication

All relationships have ups and downs, but a healthy communication style is really a cornerstone of a healthy partnership. Being able to effectively communicate can make it easier to deal with when difficulties arise and build a stronger marriage. Crucial conversations are necessary to have when you are holding something inside that needs to be discussed.  Will and I will make sure we have uninterrupted time to discuss things in the open that require attention. Communication also allows you to show appreciation and gratitude to one another.  If you don’t have good communication, the feelings of neglect, being left out, and not being heard can lead to a term coined by emotional abandonment. 

Find something you both like to do together and put it on the calendar! These simple habits can help you build a stronger marriage, and a deeper connection… even years after saying ‘I do!’. Make it a habit and set the day on repeat weekly or monthly, whatever works realistically for both of you. Will and I have Fridays once a month as a date day already set in the calendar. Be consistent and prioritize your marriage.